Wednesday, November 5, 2014

GAMERGATE: Why Making a Fuss Over Gaming Feminism is Ridiculous!

            Hey, readers!  This is my "remotely released" blog post that shares MY views on "Gamergate," and why this is absolutely a waste of our time and energy.  This blog post was drafted on October 30th (and finished on October 31st), 2014, the night after I found out about this so-called "scandal"—that's what "Gamergate" is, right?  Because only real major scandals can have the "gate" name.  In fact, on that note, does anyone think that Bill Gates is more than one scandal in human form?  HAHA!  #ReallyBadJokes
            Anyways, I feel, that as a female Nerd who enjoys playing video games, I should speak up, sharing my point of view.  Yes, it's MY OPINION, which is neither right nor wrong!  So stop trolling and pay attention!
            As always, I have provided you with an theme song for this post: the full Deus Ex Human Revolution soundtrack.


BREAK DOWN THE GATES!!!  Why Not Everything Needs a "Gate" Involved

            Let's begin with the first item on my docket: Do we HAVE to inflate the "scandal" factor in the most RIDICULOUS topics in the media?  Not everything is a scandal; in fact, most is just bad planning and design and what-not.  Seriously, "Bendgate" and "Hairgate" should not even exist.  So what if you get your hair caught in your iPhone6 and it bends in the pocket of your skinny jeans?  That's your own Davros-damn fault here!  Because who would be placing the ear piece right on their hair?  It should be brushed out of the way before using said device as a phone (which I'm sure is rare nowadays; just fucking call the device a tricorder already!  Because we can do everything else with it, INCLUDING MASTURBATE!).  I do that with my Obamaphone (which is not a sign of socialism, conservative fuckers!) already!  I brush my hair out of the way before doing anything with my pointed ears!

            As for "Bendgate," well…..just don't wear skinny jeans.  They were out of style before they were even IN style.  The only reason why they were invented was because the designer had to come up with some sort of pant-like garment for fashion runway shows and the twig-like models (who have a body mass index less than 1, I'm sure) had to wear them; they have no real function in our lives except to make us super uncomfortable and unable to bend over and pick up the loose change that falls out of our pockets.  There's no need for skinny jeans (or this "gate" nonsense associated with video games and tricorders) anyways, in this universe.  In a parallel/alternate universe, maybe; but this is not that universe, because if it were, the products that are of concern would be designed a LOT better.
            In any case, only give a real high-level scandal the "gate" watermark.  PLEASE!  No more first-world bullshit powered by our selfish narcissistic desires for top-notch quality-made products that (in order to obtain in the first place) we would have to shell out millions of dollars to purchase in this market.

The Real Issue: "Gamergate" Is Just a Sexist Response To Gaming Feminism

            So, the night before drafting this post, I was watching Colbert Report, and he shared the super-hyped story  how many male gamers are issuing death threats against female gamers who want ladies to stop being thrust into the objectified damsels-in-distress role in many of the video games that are made for a male-dominant market.  I have to say, I agree with those ladies; I disagree with the response the guys are giving them.
            Seriously, anyone who reacts negatively to this statement is a sexist pig who should never be in a relationship with another woman, because they are sure to be abusive to her.  They are already programmed that way, so maybe it IS the game developer's fault in the first place—WAIT, WAIT, this is confusing and I'm not medicated when drafting up this post, so let's try again……

            A large number of the video games created for Nerds have historically been designed for the straight male half of the Nerd race (which, until recent years, was stereotypically painted as the socially awkward weakling), because that was what the companies assumed would be the majority of their market make-up; I'm sure those companies were run by old sexist geezers in the first place, saying that "running a business is no place for a woman," and sticking them into the secretary role.  And therefore, because of this mentality, those video games were designed for the male brain, which crave not only food and being able to display male dominance gestures (which include guttural roaring while firing off an automatic machine gun like Al Pacino), but also sex from women whenever they want.  It's empowering to them, especially after having been bullied by the intimidating jocks in the real life environment.  Playing those games are their way of getting that self-confidence and, in their mind, taking that power back from those Cthulhu-damn jocks!

            However, with the more recently abundant acceptance that ladies should be treated as equals to men, this mental processing is being challenged; the virtual social hierarchy (and the many places in the world still believing that science and religion are equal, as well as certain places in Asia and on the workplace's payroll) is one of the last bastions of a patriarchal social structure where men can have all the power and women they want, believing that they are akin to objects, "things" that don't feel anything and are made to be used without need for asking for permission and worry, because women "are more submissive and not as tough, without having a single original thought in their heads."  This kind of thinking is not acceptable anymore, especially as society continues to develop.   Yet it's frustrating that many men think it's still okay to make cat-calls and wolf-whistles to women who walk by them on the street.  Oi!  We're not your sex dolls, okay?  If you want to display that behavior, do it at a strip club!

            So, of course there are video games like Grand Theft Auto and whatnot that have strong male leads and "weak" female NPCs (non-player characters, for those not familiar with gaming lingo) in today's world.  Because the video game market is not changing fast enough to support the idea of using a strong female lead that isn't just a sex icon.  That or gender-neutral video games such as the one where you play a gust of wind…….or say, has anyone ever heard of flOw?  That one is gender-neutral!  There are whole species of plants and animals that are without gender living on this very same planet; why do we still have gender-specific games where the exciting sexist action games are geared towards men and the frilly boring "bake a cake" or "raise a puppy" games are geared towards women?  Our world has CHANGED; it's time the nerdy gaming market should do so as well!

So, What the Fuck Again?  Getting to the Points……

            Why have this assumption of a narrow market that is mostly made up of male Nerds in need of a confidence boost that only exists in an artificially constructed world?  Why not expand the mentality to other genre games?  There are games out there that are indie, and games that have strong female leads.  When I was playing the Beta for LP Recharge (that is now available as an app for tablet devices and for sale for actual MONEY—neither of which I really HAVE!  Why leave the poor female nerd out of all the fun by not making it available for free on Facebook anymore?!  Can't we just pay for the ad-free portability instead?  It will allow for a wider audience/market, at least!), I had the option of playing a strong female lead character—which I did.  And it was awesome!  I could play my customized character the way I wanted to.  Why can't we have similar games like that out there, for Xbox/Playstation/Nintendo/Sega consoles?

            We must change the gaming landscape and market, stimulating an evolution and growth that allows gamer diversity in the marketplace.  Though I'd love to fuck with the current gamescape by releasing a game that has ONLY strong female leads that rescue "wimpy" nerds from the clutches of evil, we should start small; we should allow female characters to not just be a standby in the scene, but rather be a part of our team, and be playable.  This line from the Halo Reach release panel says it all: http://youtu.be/1aOb6Nn8egA?t=12m15s

            However, the solution I presented isn't the problem here: it's the reaction that male gamers have to the possibility of a female-equivalent gamescape (which is a gaming market landscape, in case you haven't figured it out yet), by issuing insults and death threats to those females who speak out.  Why do that?!  Why be programmed that way?!  We're not your pixelated bitches!  (Technically speaking, sometimes I am a pixelated bitch, but I'm not your submissive pixelated bitch!)

            Isn't it against the LAW (especially in California) to issue a threat?  Isn't it wrong anyways, if there isn't a law against issuing threats?  Especially "terroristic" threats of school shootings?  In what way does it make sense that it's "okay" to do that in response to us ladies (or lady Nerds) speaking up for equal more accurate representation in the virtual universe?  Because, gamer dudes and guy Nerds, in case you forgot, we ladies are a formidable gender for one reason and one reason only: we.  Have.  VAGINAS!!!  And our vaginas are dangerous and wily.  They are the gateways of NEW LIFE!  Yes: WE BEAR YOUR CHILDREN, BOYS!  And those hormones that rear their heads every month exist for THAT very reason!  That and our mother bear instincts are the reason why your genes are still in the gene pool (provided that your genes make up part of the DNA of your spawn)!  You think we're weak and submissive?  Threaten the safety of our offspring and we go She-Hulk on everybody's asses!  #EdenSmash

            So, "Gamergate" (aka, the Gamescape Waste-of-Time) is just plain ridiculous.  There's no good reason for males to be like, "Whoa, wait, FUCK YOU TO DEATH, BITCH, BECAUSE WE DOMINATE THIS WORLD!" and for them to be programmed that way in the first place.  Open up your minds, bros.  (And I think legal weed should help in that respect.  Just not too much.)  Or else the next time you're online, all the ladies will definitely be fragging your ass in Call of Duty/Modern Warfare/Halo/Destiny/whatever because of how much of a dick you just had to be.  And I'll gladly be one of them once I can figure out how to play first-player-shooter games a lot better (without being the victim of every other "death" in the game)….

            Anyways, that's it for my rant here.  Let's all breathe a sigh of release, drink some delicious dessert wine in celebration of my 24th birthday (which was this past Halloween, if you haven't read my previous post), and share the love.  And while we're doing that at the same time as my partial absence, I hope y'all
ENJOY YOUR DIGITAL HALLOWEEN TACQUITO BUFFET!
(without being fucked over like in this video!)



CUE THE CUTENESS!!!!